Jumat, 18 Desember 2015

An Appreciation for Memories

Being in love is when all songs and lyrics are dedicated to a person. Well, it sounds cheesy but I bet you're smiling when you try to think about it. And when you're trying to think about it, please remember that being in love doesn't mean all the beautiful and flowery things only. Being in love, is more than that. Being in love is when you're amazingly made as happy as you could. You become so greedy of the attention and spoiled of being loved. Being in love is when you're miserably made as sad as you could. You become the most unwanted and ridiculous person alive. The deeper your feeling is, the more you got attached and affected by every little details of changes your counterpart is going through. I used to be in your shoes. Confused of how people can be addicted by that kind of trap as if you can't let yourself free and got stuck into a situation that is out of your control. I used to use my logic more. Such as; why don't you try to control your feelings before you go deeper? why don't you hold yourself from something you can't bear of? why don't you step ahead by yourself and suit yourself as you don't really need any burden to live your life? I used to think a lot. And as I grow up, I think a lot some more :) - which means I'm using my brain quite often. Love is a magic that is able to make you hate the person you love the most and love the person you hate the most. You can't use your logic for love, because only love knows how two-becomes-one. Only love knows how your gloomy day can be brighten up only by a smile from your loved one. Only love knows how your heart can be broken by one or two words from your special one. I tried to squeeze my small brain to see what's beyond the magic and what I can come up with is "love is memories". No matter how much you're in love but when you remember of how your loved one betrayed you, you grow hatred little by little. In the contrary, no matter how much you're mad with your loved one but when you're reminded by how lovely and gentle that person used to be, you start making up excuses just to forgive. Don't get me wrong. I am not trying to show you how good or lucky my life is. I fell in love and hurt in the same time now. Yes I am mad and feel betrayed but that doesn't mean I hate him. I do forgive him, but doesn't mean that I want to let him go sincerely. The true nature of a person who is in love is selfish ! You possess that person so much that you want him/her just for yourself. You're busy thinking of how your life would be with your loved one and how that love one would be when he/she is with you one day. When you're in love, you're busy thinking small little details of how that person will react to anything you do. Truthfully I was enjoying myself being selfish and pampered until I woke up and realize that the time is up. When your loved one wants to grow up and the possibility of you become the hindrance is there. I was mad, of course. I was in denial. I was torn into somebody that I don't even know or proud of. I threw the blame on him. I was scared of losing myself and by nature, I ran into God. I wanted to pray for how beautiful my life will be and how to cope this brokenhearted. And love showed its magic one more time. When I prayed and closed my eyes, all I could think about is how happy I was when I see him smiling. How relieved I was whenever I know that he's doing fine. How grateful I was of him, that I didn't want to ask for anyone any better. I ended up praying of him to be fine, safe, and remain happy. Even though we worship different God, but he taught me of how God wants me to be closer to Him when I was going through something hard. He taught me how nice being loved is. He taught me to be honest and accept your own flaws. I was happy being perfectly imperfect together. I would never know how to fight my love one if it wasn't him showing me on how to always come back and fight for your love one. At the end, I don't want to be an ex who talks big that I will get over him or mad at him and don't want to hurt my pride some more. Start telling bad stories while I know that won't change anything. That, for sure, will only bring me going under and feel so small. The fact that I love him no matter how hard it was, it is, and it will is the one that keeps me going, is not something that I need to be ashamed of. I have to be proud of how I grow up and respect who umade me what I am today. Love is memories. Its warm is irreplaceable. Its kindness is unforgettable. Its tenderness is valuable. When you love someone, you love him/her with all your heart so whenever he/she left, it will leave a spot in your heart which forever granted to that person. Sometimes when you feel like missing the spot, you can come visit and feel its warm so you can continue your life. Regards, SP

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I am a product of imagination who dwells in a faraway castle. This blog is not related to my profession in real life but meant to be a tool for me as a human to share my thoughts and notions. This blog was initially started as a project in my college time because I took marketing communication as my concentration but it appears that I need a vessel of my imagination so here we are ! PS: pardon my language or thoughts if you feel it's quite offensive :)


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